Bartolo Colon Is Not As Big But Sexier Than Ever (And Apparently An Author!)

Good lord would you look at that physical specimen! It’s one thing for Bartolo Colon to be an ageless professional athlete capable of getting Big League outs deep into his 40s. However, it’s quite another for him to turn himself into an Adonis, become an author, and transition into a better spokesman than the Geico gecko. I mean I barely have time to watch a TV show let alone pick up a book. But I was sold on buying Big Sexy once Tolo dropped that incredible “Hey check out my new book” pitch straight out of Don Draper’s wet dreams.

OK, I probably would have bought the book anyway simply because of the title inspired by an old Barstool shirt KFC & I made, the outside chance we learn about how many families Bart actually has, and most importantly a more in-depth backstory of his friendship with his donkey Pancho.

But the fact remains our boy Bartolo is winning his personal battle of the bulge while becoming a learned man that can add author to his resume. And if he is interested in pitching again, there is a team in Queens that is going to have an opening in the rotation once Zack Wheeler inevitably signs somewhere else…

P.S. Today’s a HUGE day for those of us in the Treadmill Tribe after seeing Big Medium Sexy spends his time treading the mill as well. #Tribe