Dude Suing Yonkers Police Department For $975 Septillion

Lohud – Charles Oji’s lawsuits didn’t exactly start small. He demanded $1 million from the FBI, more than $4 million from his former landlord, and another $4 million from Verizon. And then, suddenly, his ambitions became bigger. A lot bigger. In subsequent suits, he demanded $975 septillion from the Yonkers Police Department; that’s 975 followed by 24 zeros. He also demanded $927 septillion from the New York Police Department. Oji, a two-time graduate of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology who later lost his way, is what the courts call a vexatious litigant. The bane of many a court clerk’s existence, vexatious litigants file lawsuit after lawsuit, each as unrealistic or misplaced as the last. In Oji’s case, that means at least 13 since 2009. He claimed that he was Jesus Christ after the first several were dismissed. One against the Yonkers Police Department claims many of the city’s cab drivers are “street criminals and dirty lawless undercover cops,” in the course of complaining that the police did not arrest young men who smoked in his apartment building. In another, Oji said his former landlords “used mystic and satanic ritualistic methods to for example draw energies from my Star.”  “There is a way people should conduct themselves,” Oji, a native of Nigeria, said in an interview. “They ignore me. They’re not supposed to ignore my complaints.” Later, in a text message he wrote: “When someone has the audacity to call himself Jesus Christ, he should be taken seriously,” adding, “AND I KNOW THAT I AM JESUS CHRIST.”  Nearly all of them have been dismissed in terse decisions. But Oji doesn’t seem deterred, and scoffs that septillions of dollars is too much to ask for. “At one point, I can’t continue to be polite,” he said.

Listen I know what you’re thinking. Anybody who calls himself Jesus Christ and sues for 975 septillion dollars because landlords and cab drivers and police are drawing energy from his star is a total asshole and lunatic. And that may be true. But Charles Oji is going up against the city of Yonkers. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Yonkers is just the worst. I dread every time I ever have to go into that Godforsaken city. In my mind Yonkers is just one giant Department of Motor Vehicles. I feel like the only time I’m ever there is when I am at the DMV or at a doctor appointment or somewhere else I absolutely do not want to be. 100% end up lost every time, most likely make U turn after U turn on Central Avenue. And then the icing on the cake is like a $150 parking ticket.

Place fucking sucks. I don’t know who’s fault it is. The cops, the cab drivers, the landlords. Who knows. All I know is there’s definitely some Satanic shit that goes on inside the confines of the Yonkers city borders and anyone who’s ever had to suffer there deserves a piece of that 975 septillion.