The Sun — Jon Boyer is probably going to take a lot of heat for this — we’re sorry, Jon. But it’s really our duty to report your utter fabulousness and rock-star status as an animal rescuer. Not that the ladies of Baltimore need any reminding, apparently. Homeless and injured animals seem to have something of a magnetic attraction to Boyer, who’s a Baltimore police officer. He says police rescue cats and dogs all the time — comes with the job. But he’s a little flummoxed that his occasional drop-off at the Baltimore Animal Rescue and Care Shelter (BARCS) has also made him a magnet for instantly lovestruck women. There’s apparently something about a handsome guy cuddling a little creature that makes the female heart go pitter-pat. It all started about a year ago, when someone at BARCS snapped a photo of Boyer with a kitten he’d rescued, and sent it to the folks at Baltimore’s Show Your Soft Side (SYSS) campaign, which works to help abused pets. “We posted the photo and people went nuts — in a good way,” says SYSS founder Sande Riesett. So she asked the 26-year-old officer to model in her Pawject Runway fundraising event, and the crowd went wild for him. “Women love him,” she says. “I mean, what’s not to love about a big, tough, gun-toting guy who is a sucker for anything that barks or purrs?” Soon after, he started appearing in SYSS posters and ads, and has since been auctioned off by BARCS as a date. For his part, the uniformed hunk says his new-found celebrity “blows my mind.” And the rumors of women flinging date requests and marriage proposals his way? All true.
Dude hit the jackpot. Seriously. Look at this Facebook page dedicated to him. Almost 4,500 likes! Guy is absolutely swimming in pussy (NPI, but TI). Gonna play the “shocked” and humble card to the local paper while you’re playing the oldest trick in the book. This is the classic “learn to play Wonderwall on the guitar and play it in the freshman dorm” trick just turned up a notch. Can’t hate the game at all. Whatever brings the moisture. Definitely has the Notebook on standby for when he brings the girls home.
But I see right through your schtick, bro. There’s no need for you to be coy Jon, we all know you’re the biggest cocksman in Baltimore right now. Let’s just call a spade a spade. You pretend to love cats and girls make puddles in their pants over it. Unfortunately for you, you’ve given me no choice, gonna have to level the playing field here. Mama Banks taught me if you can’t beat em, join em. Two can play the faux feline affection game. Cats are the best. I love cats and I don’t care who knows it! Viva La Cats!