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Lawsuit Claims Fortnite Is Addictive As Cocaine


The maker of Fortnite may face a class-action lawsuit in Canada after two parents of teenage sons alleged last week the company purposely designed the multiplayer video game to be as addictive as cocaine, according to reports.

The Montreal-based law firm, Calex Légal, filed a motion in Quebec Superior Court Thursday on behalf of two parents who approached the firm separately about their 10- and 15-year-old sons, who they claim developed a severe dependence on the game, USA Today reported.

The suit, which has yet to be approved by the court, seeks to hold the US-based video game publisher Epic Games Inc., as well as its Canadian affiliate based in British Columbia, accountable for using psychologists and statisticians “to develop the most addictive game possible.”

Full disclosure, I don’t play video games anymore.  Ya know why?  Because they’re addicting as fuck.  Consider me in recovery.  The last video game I was addicted to was Call of Duty in college.  My roommate and I would stay up all night fucking up nazi zombies and little 12 year old pipsqueaks on the other side of the world.  Would skip class, miss meals.  It took over our lives, and became zombies ourselves.  Brains completely atrophied. We were real life World of Warcraft South Park characters


So yeah, if you were to tell me Call of Duty was as addicting as Fentanyl or some shit I’d say “yup that makes sense.  Inject that shit directly into my veins”.

I hope these parents sue the pants off Fortnite.  It’s clearly poisoning the youth.

Which brings me to my next point: what other things are as addicting as hard core drugs?


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I get a pound of bacon and eat the entire slab when I’m hungover.  “WSD you fat ass, bacon can’t be addicting!”  WRONG.  You know who says it can be addicting?  That’s right, science bitch


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Nicotine is the shit and that is a fact.  I was with a friend Sunday and she said she’d quit smoking if I quit dipping.  I was appalled at the suggestion.  I’ll quit dip when you rip it from my cold, dead hands you dickheads.  Also – Grizzly Wintergreen or GTFO.

Leghorn Chicken on Western and Augusta:

Best chicken in Chicago but it closed down a few months ago.  I was livid.  Spent $20 a pop 2-3x a week there. Went into a deep depression and had to get hooked up to methadone when the windows got boarded up.  RIP


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Ahhh, gambling.  Everyone’s #1 sidepiece.  Truthfully, I don’t talk about gambling publicly.  I’ll leave that to Dan and everyone else.  But I gamble WAY too much.  So much so that I’ve had to ask my dad for $1000s of dollars so I wouldn’t get a bat taken to my knees because I couldn’t stop during the World Cup.  Pulled all nighters in the book’s online casino.  Have made the trek to The Shoe in the middle of the night just to piss away my entire bankroll and get my cards all shut off.  But… I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Like nicotine, gambling is the shit and that’s a fact.