I'm Pretty Sure This Must See Video Proves Tom Brady is a Time Lord

It’s hardly the most original thought to say you think Tom Brady is an alien. I’ve believed he was sent to our world to show us what the perfect being is like so that we can evolve beyond our flawed, human form ever since he dumped Tara Reid at the height of her post-“Amerian Pie” and Maxim magazine cover powers. Watch her in her “Sharknado” phase of her life and tell me that doesn’t demonstrate he’s operating on an intellect beyond our comprehension.

But this video is on a whole other left. This is proof positive he’s more than just some being from a species far more advanced than ours. This proves he’s got a mastery over time and space. That he’s The Doctor. A Gallifreyan Time Lord with the ability to create a time loop if it serves his purpose. Whether that’s preventing the destruction of Earth or beating the Redskins coverage. And like the Doctor, probably the last of his kind.

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I mean, this is just uncanny on so many levels. For starters, the Patriots and Redskins have only played once every four years since 2003. The roster turnover on these two teams since 2015 has been massive. Both teams have different coordinators now than they had then. Brandon Bolden wasn’t even in New England last year. And he’s a professional Special Teamer and only part time running back with a grand total of four receiving touchdowns in his eight year career, one of which was with the Dolphins. And yet here he is, a four years apart, connecting on the exact same route against the same team with the same quarterback using precisely the same timing but in two different stadia.

You can call that coincidence all you want, but that doesn’t make it so. This is an immortal being manipulating the time/space continuum for his own purposes. You can’t convince me otherwise. I bet anything Brady’s locker is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. I already know he’s got two hearts.