The Barstool College Football Show - Championship Week | Premieres Saturday 9:00am ETTUNE IN

The Fact That I May Be The Most Brutal Looking Specimen In This Photo Means It's Time For A BIG Change

Jesus Christ, Smith. First off, all the credit in the world to Dunphy. He’s the new Lord Of Philly, and the fact I didn’t pour a cold 40 into the Phanatic for good luck will haunt me forever. But holy hell I’ve seen batter days/lives.

For reference to how far the mighty have fallen, here’s what we looked like just about 18 months ago:

Now? Between the grey hair, gullet getting bigger by the day, and drinking water at a Birds tailgate, it’s either time for a change – Or be put down. Nothing in between. Time to go to war. Again.