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Rob Kardashian Beat Up A Photographer Because She Took A Shirtless Pic Of Him

 

(TMZ)Rob Kardashian has just been sued for allegedly assaulting a photographer and stealing her camera equipment … as she was lying in wait to get pics of the shirtless wonder. TMZ broke the story … the photog filed a robbery report last month, claiming Rob jacked part of her camera at a West Hollywood gym … and she claims it was all because she snapped shirtless pics of him. The photog — not a TMZ employee — says Rob, who is neck deep in a weight loss program, snatched the memory card out of the camera. For his part, Rob says he lashed out because the photog trespassed onto private property to take the photos. Witnesses back Rob up … saying the photog was in the garage … hiding in her car and then making her move when Rob took his shirt off.

 

Poor Rob. Tough stretch for him. First he comes out admitting that he cries every time he’s naked because he’s so fat he’s dickless. Now? The paparazzi starts swarming and he’s got to beat up chicks and steal their cameras. Not a banner week for the hottest sock maker in the world.

But I’d love to see the tape of this. I bet Rob was insanely quick to get that camera out of this chick’s hand. You know how blind people have better senses to make up for it? Fat people are like that. If you’re fat, you’re insanely good at hiding your shirtless fat body. Ever seen a fat kid get dressed in the locker room? I once saw a kid with a towel around his waist, one draped over his shoulders to cover his tits, and one hanging from his mouth so you couldn’t see his gut. And he was on one foot putting his boxers on despite all that. Most impressive yoga I’ve ever seen. Being fat is a god giveth and taketh away thing. He’ll make you fat as fuck, but the second someone might see your bare gut he turns you superhuman. So you can continue thinking everyone doesn’t realize your fat, or whatever the reason fat people are so scared to be shirtless is.

PS – whenever I feel bad about my job I just remember that, somewhere out there, there’s a chick hiding in her car waiting for Rob Kardashian to take his shirt off so she can take pictures. And I sleep a little more soundly that night.