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Saquon Barkley Is Running, Cutting, And Confirmed To Be An Alien 10 Days After Suffering A High Ankle Sprain

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What a glorious sight for Giants fans and anybody blessed enough to have Saquon The Don on their fantasy team. I didn’t expect to be getting irrationally excited about blurry videos shot from 50 yards away during practice. But that’s what the first two games of Daniel Jones Era has done to my brain.

If you have ever read an injury blurb about high ankle sprains, you know they are a motherfucker because not only do they hurt but they linger. However, that is only the case when the person who suffered the high ankle sprain is:

A. A human

and

B. Has legs that aren’t thiccer than a bowl of oatmeal

Based on everything I’ve seen from Saquon at Penn State and on the Giants, neither of those statements apply to him at all. So he will take that 4-8 week diagnosis with it being closer to 8 weeks than 4, turn that sumbitch sideways, and shove it straight up all the Twitter doctors’ candy asses.

Don’t get me wrong though, I’d be more than fine if Saquon doesn’t come back until at least that 4th week because this week’s game against a pissed off Vikings team is almost definitely gonna be a bitch and going to New England on a short week is going to be a bitch to the level of Mrs. Broflovski.

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But if the Giants can stay healthy over the next 2 weeks and get their superhuman freak back in the lineup, they are going to have an offense of Saquon Barkley, Evan Engram, Sterling Shepard, and Golden Tate being called by a quarterback that can drop dimes in their hands when they are in space and also show off his wheels when necessary against a Cardinals defense that makes even ordinary NFL offenses look like the Chiefs.

And THAT’S why I am fully erect watching grainy video footage of a guy jogging on a Wednesday morning.