Elementary School Run By Cowards Cancels Halloween For Everyone Because "It Is Not A Holiday Celebrated By All Members" Of The Community

WGN – There will be no candy or costumes on Halloween at an elementary school in Evanston this year. Lincoln Elementary School has canceled its Halloween celebration during the school day.

According to the Chicago Tribune, the school said it wants to be inclusive of all students and avoid celebrating a cultural holiday during the school day that some students don’t celebrate because of religious reasons.

“While we recognize that Halloween is a fun tradition for many families, it is not a holiday that is celebrated by all members of our school community and for various reasons. There are also inequities in how we have traditionally observed the holiday as part of our school day. Our goal at Lincoln is to provide space and opportunities for all students to be part of the community — not to create an environment that may feel exclusive or unwelcoming to any child,” said Michelle Cooney, Lincoln’s school principal

In lieu of a Halloween party, Tribune reports the students will have a “fall celebration” on Friday, Nov. 1.

You want Easter off the books fine. That ones a little tricky between the bunny handing out candy and the guy coming back from the dead. And Christmas too because, again, Same Guy as before and don’t forget the impossible physics behind Santa. Strike them from the public school history books and pretend it never happened out of respect to blatant exploitation of expansive state/church separation interpretation. In other words you can rot in hell on your own time.

But at some point I draw a fucking line and that line is Halloween. Pardon my french but fuck your religious standards. Your daughter’s not observing them when she gets to Illinois State so no sense starting now in 6th grade. That and can we agree that Halloween as an adult is a goddamn war zone? Lines everywhere and skanks out the door and just general debauchery that if you’re not exposed to it at an early age you will literally stand no chance to survive it freshman year of college much less 1st year in lakeview. So for those reasons I’m out and these people cancelling it suck.

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If I offended you in the process you probably suck too.

Now come and take 4th of July and see how that goes.