BREAKING: Your Boy Eddie Used To Wear Fake Diamond Stud Earrings
This guy Eddie is an enigma. I feel like I am learning new things about him every day. Things that don’t fit the Eddie persona I’ve built up in my head since working with him for the past year or so. I was in the office recording an episode of Dogwalk with him and working on a blog about the Blues Stanley Cup rings. I asked the room what that jewelry store in malls was when we were growing up and our camera guy answered with Claire’s. Ed pops up with “oh yeah, Claires. That’s where I got my ears pierced” and the room kinda just stopped. He didn’t even look up from his computer. Just kept on working like everything was normal and that was just a throwaway comment.
Eddie, the most lovable guy on Barstool at the moment, was a punk kid. The guy who when he dresses up goes from a Barstool Chicago t-shirt to a ralph lauren polo t-shirt. The guy who is kind of our moral compass in the Chicago office. A person we all like and trust…went through a “Jay Gotti” phase. I am baffled. I want you to close your eyes and picture what you think Rico Bosco looks like…
Advertisement
Rico sounds like how Eddie used to look. The Italian stereotype. The guy who legitimately looked at Mike The Situation and thought...yeah, I want to look like that when I go out in public. Eddie has never gloated or showed off as long as I’ve worked with him and he’s wearing chains, an open white button down shirt over a backwards Kobe Bryant jersey with double QZ studs in his ears. I mean knock me over with a feather, that’s not the guy I know. I don’t know what to believe anymore. Eddie told us with a straight face that he went to a club for the first time this year
That guy. A guy who wore a prom tux that looks like it fell off the back of a truck. That guy had never been to a club in his life until he was in his late 20s?
Looked right at home in the club with Dente.
This makes no sense. You know those Human Evolution pictures
You should be able to draw a straight line between Double Earring Ed at the beginning and Club Ed at the end. That’s the natural progression. In the middle there should be fake tan Ed, bad tattoo Ed, and blow out hair Ed. The Eddie we all know is an outlier of evolution. Started with the earrings, skipped the middle, and somehow ended up as a functioning human adult. How this kid made it the last 10 years without arrests for running a small time book is a modern miracle.
