Stefon Diggs Tweets One Emoji So Naturally Everyone Assumes He's Coming to New England

So the Minnesota Vikings are at 2-2. They’re coming off a division loss at Chicago in which they were trailing 16-0 late into the 4th before a garbage time touchdown drive made it a 16-6 final. This in spite of the fact that Stefon Diggs had 7 Receptions on 7 Targets for 108 yards. Mainly because Kirk Cousins was sacked six times. But regardless, the Vikings offense has been struggling through the first month. They’re 20th in the league in Points and 23rd in Total Yards.

Which might be why last night Diggs Tweeted this:

Nobody knows. He wasn’t responding to anything anyone is aware of. This wasn’t a re-Tweet of someone else’s comment. Just simply the No Mouth emoji, without any context. So naturally, the internet went nuts. Filling the empty vessel with their own interpretations, projecting their own meaning into what he’s saying.

This is one of the things I love love most about life in 2019. As language has peaked and we all start to devolve back into preschool writing, symbology, numerology, Hieroglyphics and eventually bring back cave paintings to communicate, everything is subjective. Everything is open to interpretation. A celebrity or someone on your Fantasy team presses a symbol and then SEND and by the millions we sit on our sofas and discuss its meaning like we’re standing in a gallery at MoMA.

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I’m a guy who appreciates subjectivity as much as the next guy. But still, my job requires some degree of certainty. So I had to go to my trusted source for all such things, Emojipedia to provide some context.

Who knew a yellow circle with two black ovals could say so much? Not since Piet Mondrian has simple, colorful geometry generated so much discussion. And in the case of the masterpiece Face Without a Mouth, the overwhelming consensus is this can only mean one thing.

Stefon Diggs is getting traded to the Patriots.

Let the GIFs begin:

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Now granted, this isn’t exactly coming from the Schefters and the Rapoports and the Blue Checkermarkers. But this is exactly how the Antonio Brown speculation began. I declared that to be total horseshit from the beginning and couldn’t have been more wrong. If I learned a lesson in all of that drama, it’s to always believe everything you read on the internet and just go with it.

Besides, this move would make a billion times more sense than signing Brown did. Diggs is in your classic situation of a guy who wants out for legitimate reasons. Prior to Sunday, he had been targeted all of 12 times for 6 Receptions and 101 Yards through three games. Kirk Cousins is objectively sub-mediocre, at 23rd in the league in Passer Rating, 25th in Passing Yards and with just 3 TDs to 2 INTs through four games. Mike Zimmer is in his 6th year and if he doesn’t get his team past the Bears and Packers and into the playoffs is likely to be fired. And then Diggs would have to start over with another coach.

Diggs is in Year 2 of a big contract and comes lugging a big salary cap hit on his back. So a massive restructure would be needed, for sure. But that’s reality talking. I’m all in on the dream of this consistent 900+ Yard wideout coming to the Patriots, ASAP. The Face With No Mouth emoji doesn’t lie.