Does This Look Like The Face Of A Homeless Guy Who Almost Attacked Another Homeless Guy With A Machete For Bothering His Lady Friend?
Press-Citizen- Police say a homeless man has been charged with preparing to fight another man while armed with a machete. According to an Iowa City Police complaint, an officer was flagged down on the 2100 block of S. Gilbert Street at 6:10 p.m. Monday for two subjects who were squaring off to fight on the nearby railroad tracks. A witness told officers that 40-year-old Kenneth J. Emerson approached Jose Nunez while brandishing a machete, according to police. Emerson dropped the machete and began walking westbound after he noticed the officer, according to police. Emerson refused commands to stop walking and the officer had to run to catch up to him, police say. Emerson told police he grabbed the machete from his camp site under a nearby bridge to scare away and threaten Nunez, who has been allegedly bothering Emerson’s girlfriend, police say.
Oh hells yeah. I love this story. It’s not everyday somebody busts out a machete and threatens to start slashing throats of a guy messing around with his lady friend. The cops should’ve let this one play out. It’s also nice to see that even in the downtrodden world of homeless people they’re still looking out for their loved ones. Does it make me a little uneasy that a homeless guy can find a girlfriend and I can’t? Maybe a touch. His ability to grow a beard has to be what draws in the women folk. I wouldn’t imagine he’s showering them with lavish gifts and vacations. Any way, there’s a part of me that thinks (read this as “wishes) people fighting with machetes would happen more often. The machete is an underrated weapon in my opinion. If we’re talking zombie apocalypse and not guns, machete might be my #1 pick right up there with a metal baseball bat and an ice pick. You can use the machete as a blunt object but also as a bad ass knife that cuts zombie’s heads off. Not to mention at some point during every zombie apocalypse the group of people find themselves in some sort of thick jungle vegetation and the machete would be the perfect tool to cut a path. It’s really the perfect weapon. Deadly and resourceful.
PS- Quick question, how does a homeless guy afford glasses? Am I overestimating just how poor homeless people are? When I think homeless I think zero money. Like none at all. Definitely not enough to afford glasses and/or a prescription.