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Wake Up "With A Did You Know?": America Has Had A Woman President

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Way back before Elizabeth Warren was even a speck in her Native American grandmother’s eye, the United States of America had a woman holding and running the highest office in all of the land. In fact, it was 100 years ago today. On September 25, 1919 President Woodrow Wilson had a MASSIVE stroke while visiting Colorado. Huge stroke. A stroke that had the whole left side of his body paralyzed. Here is the first picture of him after that stroke

woody and edith

Ole can’t even hold a paper in place Woody Wilson. Right by his side, making sure shit gets done was his wife, Edith. Edith kept this stroke a secret. HIPA laws or something. She didn’t have to tell anyone anything. After a few weeks of you know…the President of the United States not showing up to work Congress and his cabinet started to ask some questions. They were like “uhhh hey, where is the President? We need him to do things like…sign laws and budgets and assist with THE RECONSTRUCTION OF EUROPE” and his wife just told them to fuck off because Woody was tired. Congress’s response to that? What do you think? Do you think they enacted the 25th amendment to remove him from office under grounds of incompacititation? Do you think they leaked to the press that he wasn’t showing up to work? Do you think they stormed the Residency? Wrong, wrong, and wrong. They were pretty much like…”okay”. They just let his stroke ass stay in bed, didn’t ask anymore questions and just dealt with Edith Wilson. She was running shit for over a year. She’d take memos back and forth from congress and the cabinet to the President…wink wink…She was just signing shit. Making decisions. Edith Wilson served as the Chief Executive of the country. Congress eventually got suspicious and sent over a senator to check on Woodrow Wilson and she just propped him up in his bed like it was Weekend At Bernie’s and that was good enough cover I guess to keep the status quo going until the press started asking questions and then that is when they staged the photo above. Wiped the drool from his chin, shaved his face, put his clothes on, and wheeled him down to the Oval Office. They released the picture and everyone bought it. How fucking stupid were people 100 years ago? Here’s one photo of a stroke victim holding a pen to paper and the whole country was like “phew okay, he’s credible and totally still capable of doing shit” after not having a public appearance for months and months. That’s insane. Maybe people just had more to do back then. Couldn’t worry about the President being alive if you’re toiling in the farms and factories all day.

So yeah, in this election cycle if someone tells you how important it is to break the glass ceiling and elect a female president, just tell them about Edith Wilson and then you are free to vote for Trump again.