Jerry Jones Loves To Watch Ezekiel Elliott Spank His Booty, Or Something Like That


So you know how everybody has that one grandpa who says some weird, borderline inappropriate shit but everybody just ignores him because he’s old and doesn’t know any better? Well Jerry Jones is that grandpa and he had some…well…interesting things to say when talking about Robert Quinn’s sack dance on Sunday.

So Jerry Jones loves to watch Zeke throw on a towel and start spanking his heinie. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just seems like a weird thing to say completely unprompted. I get that he was talking about the Robert Quinn sack dance where he was riding the bull/horse, but I’m just not sure if we needed him to go into that much detail about how much fake pony riding goes down in the Cowboys locker room. A simple, “yeah I thought that was great” would have sufficed there. And again I’d just like to reiterate that there is nothing wrong with this. It’s just that some thing are probably left just staying within the confines of the locker room, ya know?

With that being said…I think the Eagles might be missing something here. I mean think about two of the biggest stories to come out of the NFL recently–Gardner Minshew stretches in just his jock strap and Ezekiel Elliott runs around the dressing room in a towel while spanking his ass and pretending to ride a pony. I’m thinking that maybe the Eagles biggest issue early on this season is that they just don’t have enough half-naked horseplay going on in the locker room. This is a copycat league, after all, so I expect to see and hear about a whole bunch of locker room shenanigans on Thursday night in Green Bay. Greatness starts well before the opening kickoff.