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Cory Booker Flirting With Strippers On Twitter

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So if you don’t know who Cory Booker is, he’s the mayor of Newark. He started getting popular a while back after he ran into a burning building to save a child. He was hot in the political streets because he was young and black and single and acting like a super hero.

But then he got fat:

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And then somebody asked him if he was gay and he gave a super vague answer like “So what if I was?” So now every one just thinks he’s a big fat gay black guy. So naturally its perfect timing to leak some scandalous stripper pictures. Like, everyone look over here! I’m straight! Straight straight straight!! I tweet with this chick all the time!

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Brilliant damage control. Because right now the gays don’t want him if he’s fat. Thats a bad look for them. Chris Christie can get away with being fat as fuck because thats his shtick – he’s the fat white guy. If Cory Booker was the sleek, black, in shape gay guy he’d crush it. Once he got fat though he’s gotta go straight again. Its really quite the political posturing. He’s making a bid to be the first fat black gay but non-gay President. Only time a scandal with a stripper has probably helped his approval ratings. I’m telling you, this dude is flipping the game on its head.

And if you’re gonna pick a stripper to be a beard, no better job than to pic this broad. Bald eagles tattooed on her pussy. Guns tattooed on her ass. Only way you’re gonna get votes south of the Mason Dixon line when you’re gay and black is to be pro-guns and pro-‘Murica.

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