The PLL Championship Trophy Is Already The 2nd Most Glorious Trophy In All Of Professional Sports
We’ll just get this out of the way now–nothing will ever top the Stanley Cup. Never in a million years will there be a trophy better than Lord Stanley. And it’s not even just because you can drink out of it, but it’s because of the history and all the names of everybody who has ever won it being engraved onto the trophy. It’s the odd little quirks about players’ names being misspelled because the engraving is all done by hand. The Stanley Cup is the pinnacle of trophies in professional sports.
But the Lombardi Trophy? What is that? Just a silver football on top of a stand? Reallllll original, guys. Glad you really put your brain to work on that one. The Commissioner’s Trophy? What is that? Just a bunch of spikes sticking out of a platform so if you accidentally fall anywhere near it you might end up poking out your eye? Yeah no thanks. The Larry O’Brien Trophy? What is that? Just a golden basketball on top of a stand? It’s honestly less impressive than the trophies you’d get as a 6-year-old with the little figurine of a guy dribbling a ball. But the PLL Championship Trophy?
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It’s the most beautiful pint glass these eyes have ever seen. You can fill that bad boy up with all the beer your little heart desires. You can fill that bad boy up with all the Truly hard seltzer you could dream of. You can fill that bad boy up with all of the Pink Whitney in the land. You can fill that bad boy up with some Body Armor mixed with some standard New Amsterdam Vodka. Moral of the story here is that you can get absolutely shit faced with this trophy, which automatically bumps it all the way up to #2 on the power rankings. And if you’re into living a more responsible life, I’m sure you can also gas a few protein shakes out of it as well. Maybe fill it up with your favorite cereal. Crush some spaghetti out of there. Maybe even fill it up with some sour gummy worms if you’re feeling frisky. It’s honestly up to you, and that’s what makes this trophy so special. You can’t eat spaghetti out of the Lombardi Trophy. You can’t drink Pink Whitneys out of the Larry O’Brien Trophy. But unlike those other leagues, the PLL used their brain and came up with something magnificent. Sport of the Future confirmed.
P.S. #1 – Obviously the Jets are an absolutely abysmal football team, but their style is unparalleled.
P.S. #2 – Friendly reminder that we’ll be having our first ever The Crease Dive Live Show on Saturday at Talen Energy Stadium. 1:45pm right between the 1st draft pick game and the championship game.
