RIP In Peace MoviePass

Yahoo- After months of trying to get the business back on track, MoviePass is officially shutting down. In a letter to their remaining subscribers, MoviePass’ parent company, Helios and Matheson Analytics Inc. explained that “efforts to recapitalize MoviePass have not been successful to date. The Company is unable to predict if or when the MoviePass service will continue.” The app abruptly closed on Saturday, September 14th, with only one day’s notice to subscribers.

We are gathered here today to say goodbye to a friend that gave us the gift of really cheap movies. Like preposterously cheap. I’m talking hemorrhaging money like the elevators in The Shining hemorrhaged blood to the point using a Moviepass card more than once a month let alone a week felt like stealing. Things probably would have worked out for our pal if the zillions of people that signed up for a Moviepass membership forgot about it like they forgot about a gym membership.

However, it turns out people like robbing idiot companies blind even if it meant going out in public to rooms packed with people, which is kind of an upset in the year 2019 if you think about it. That’s when our friend got desperate and starting doing shady shit like changing the price, limiting movie times, and only allowing you to see flicks that were covered from head-to-toe in rotten tomatoes. As a wise man once said in a movie I paid full price to see, “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain”. And while those other shady things were clearly fucked up things to do to paying customers, our friend actually broke bad and pulled a legitimate villain move on par with any sort of malfeasance Thanos, Darth Vader, or Voldermort ever did on the silver screen.

But I will not speak ill of the dead and instead remember the good times we had together where even the worst movies were bearable since they were pretty much free thanks to our friend’s comically unsustainable business model.

Goodnight sweet prince.