Luc Longley Just Wants The Basketball Gods To Finally Kiss Australia On The Dick
(Source) – That stabbing feeling is, in part, because Spain has dealt yet another blow to the Boomers’ medal dreams. A bronze is still up for grabs, but the Spaniards always seem to be at the centre of Australia’s heartbreak.
Even worse, the loss came down to some calls that could’ve gone either way, and Longley just wants the basketball gods to treat Australia the way he believes they’ve treated Spain.
“It’s so similar,” he said of the feeling on Friday, compared to the loss at Rio.
“It’s fuckiin’ very similar. I think, in Rio, I also think we deserved to win it. It’s just a fuckin; I don’t know what we’ve gotta do. We’ve gotta find an altar somewhere and burn a sacrifice, or do something the basketball gods, because they’re not kissing us on the dick yet, like they do Spain. You can print that if you want.
“Spain gets kissed on the dick by the basketball gods every time we play them.”
Luc Longley, apt and concise. As usual.
This morning I blogged about Andrew Bogut throwing a little temper tantrum over a bullshit late foul at the end of regulation against Spain, he basically called FIBA corrupt.
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Forget for a moment the fact that Australia still had every opportunity to win that game, Bogut’s quotes after the loss were something to hear. Well that’s before I became aware of what Bulls legend and Australia assistant coach Luc Longley had to say. As we know the Basketball Gods can be finicky at times, and for whatever reason things aren’t going Australia’s way whenever they play Spain. Instead of screwing them over, Longley is praying they are able to find a way for the Gods to kiss Australia on the dick. A journey many of you can probably relate to. At the end of the day, we’re all just squirrels trying to find a nut.
I’ll be honest, the idea of being blessed by the Basketball Gods with some sort of prayer isn’t all that new. That’s been happening and been talked about for as long as the sport has been played. I have to say though, this is the first time I’ve heard it described as kissing on the dick. Maybe that’s an Australian phrase? Either way it plays, and the fact that he said it with an Australian accent makes it even better. Absolutely everything is better with an Australian accent. Remember those games that had Australian color and play by play guys? That shit was must listen and frankly the NBA needs to bring some in because it makes the game so much more enjoyable to watch.
So while you may think there are actual things Australia can do to improve their chances in international play moving forward you’d be mistaken. They just have to wine and dine the Basketball Gods so they can get their knob slobbed. It’s been decades since I’ve thought about Luc Longley but now I’m pretty sure I need him in front of a microphone at all times if he’s going to keep giving us these type of gems.