Belichick Celebrated Kyle Van Noy's New Baby in the Postgame Locker Room and I'm Not Crying, You're Crying

Doing the math, this is one win, 100 or so celebrations, and a half dozen tender moments that make my heart grow three sizes, giving me the strength of 10 Grinches, plus two.

First there’s Bret Bielema singling out Ted Karras for praise after the guy was nails in the middle of the line all night. You get Edelman and Brady separately saying they have to do better. After a 33-3 teabagging of a good team. And holy smokes, Brady and Drew Bledsoe’s bromance still thriving all these years after one lost his job to the other. And of course the obligatory Matthew Slater break down. It’s a nice scene.

But it all pales in comparison to Belichick going on all Proud Grandpa on us. When he opens the hatch on the front of his hard, adamantium exoskeleton and shows us the sweet, gooey, caramel and nougat center of his being. Beaming as he shows the photo of the newborn that kept Kyle Van Noy away from the stadium. God, him holding that phone up has me all verklempft. I’m going to need a moment.

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Annnd, I’m back. With a reminder that this new dad would be the same Kyle Van Noy that not a few weeks ago was getting shot in the face with a paintball by this same Bill Belichick in retaliation for the fact Van Noy had shot him earlier. And another reminder that playing for this team and this coach might not be for everybody. And this is just one man’s opinion, but it certainly looks like they’re having fun.

Also, congrats to Kyle and Marissa Van Noy for their blessed event. That is going to be one genetically impressive, superhuman child.