I Just Really Hope That Chip Kelly Got To Enjoy Himself As DeSean Jackson Made His Triumphant Return To Philly Yesterday
I’m not much of a grudge guy. There have been plenty of imbeciles who have come through the city of Philadelphia and have completely fucked our teams, so it would be incredibly exhausting to hold a grudge against every one of those guys. But if there’s one clown who stands head and shoulders above the rest of the idiots, it’s Chip Kelly. If there’s one jackass who is the closest thing to satan that this city had to endure, it’s him. And even though the Eagles have moved well past the catastrophe that was Chip Kelly (i.e. have won a Super Bowl and are back on track to being one of the premier organizations in the league), I still hope that Chip’s day-to-day life is filled with minor inconveniences. Those inconveniences could be something like starting off the season 0-2 at UCLA after losses to Cincinnati and San Diego State. Or those inconveniences could be watching DeSean Jackson making his return to Philadelphia 5 years after Chip released him and putting up 8 catches for 154 yards and 2 touchdowns.
First there was the 51-yarder.
Then there was the 53-yarder.
Just picture Chip right now. Since the time he cut DeSean he was fired by the Eagles, hired by the 49ers, fired by the 49ers after one season with a 2-14 season, hired by UCLA, put up an abysmal 3-9 record last year and starts off the year 0-2 this year. In his time after the Eagles, Chip Kelly has only won 5 football games. FIVE. And the day after losing to San Diego St, Chip Kelly had to sit down and watch DeSean Jackson have more receptions in his first game back in Philly than he has wins over the last 4 years. Devastating.
And as for that whole “culture” problem that got DeSean released in the first place? Sure seems like the team loves having him back in the locker room and one the field.
The Athletic – “Having DeSean back is fucking great,” said Brandon Brooks, who played with Jackson for the first time Sunday. “I mean, there’s no better feeling as an offensive lineman, man, than going like two plays on a drive and you see the ball in the air and D-Jacc running wide-ass open.”
…Jackson also knew his former teammates. He spoke up in the Eagles locker room at halftime when the Eagles trailed by 13 points. His message: The Washington players think they have the game sealed. One play could change it. Jackson made Washington pay, continuing a trend of scorching teams that “had the opportunity to keep me and they didn’t keep me.”
I don’t know. Maybe we should be thanking Chip Kelly this morning. I mean without Chip getting rid of DeSean, then DeSean never goes to the Redskins. And if he never goes to the Redskins, then maybe he doesn’t have that same “fuck you” energy he had for Washington yesterday. And without that “fuck you” energy, maybe the Eagles don’t make that comeback in the 2nd half and we’re all waking up worried this morning about an 0-1 start to the season. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Chip Kelly. It all worked out exactly according to the masterplan.
P.S. – Deeeeeecent.