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The Patriots Have Broken Bart Scott

“I’m done betting against the New England Patriots. It’s like … mentally exhausting.”
– Bart Scott, September 2019

I never thought I’d live to hear this. I didn’t think this day was possible. If there was one man I thought the Patriots could not crack. One, unassailable fortress they could not penetrate, it would have been the ferocious iron visage of Bart Scott. No one ever flexed on the Patriots the way Scott did.

No one ever went into the Patriots’ Beat Laboratory and rubbed his nuts all over their drum set the way he did. And no one has ever worn that resentment like war medals the way he has. I thought the Patriots could win the next 20 Super Bowls and Bart Scott would be at a retirement home somewhere yelling about how much they suck into the hearing aids of all the other residents. But nope. They finally got to him.

And you have to respect his honesty. His appreciation for what Belichick has built this off-season. The depth. The defense, which I agree is the best he’s had in a long time (I’d say since 2004). The way they’ll be able to win ugly. The way they’ll be able to win a shootout. The reacquisition of Demaryius Thomas, bringing depth to the wide receiver corps. The full array of running backs. The fact this is a complete team. All of it. Just spot on analysis by Scott that I’m sure had to be poison in his mouth. But he has the strength of character to speak those inconvenient truths.

It makes you wonder who else will be the next to fall. Because if the Pats can break Bart Scott of all people, it would appear that resistance is futile. Oh, wait:

There’s always Nick Wright. That Hans Gruber-looking creep will go to his grave diminishing this teams’ accomplishments, claiming they’re done and going with whichever opponent is the next Flavor of the Season, no matter how many times they prove him wrong. Which is weirdly comforting. Because it shows there are still worlds left to conquer.