Will Any Commercial Look Dumber In 20 Years Than The Dr. Pepper Parents Who Don't Want Their Son To Play Lacrosse?

The return of the college football season means that it’s also the return of the Dr. Pepper “Fansville” ad campaign. In theory, it’s a good idea. You’ve got a cast of characters you’re used to seeing every week, a storyline that continues to develop, and it’s the perfect amount of entertainment to keep you interested after watching back-to-back-to-back fumbles. I had to suck Dr. Pepper’s dick there a little bit just in case they ever decide to become a sponsor. With that being said…


I’ve blogged about them before but these idiots are still the dumbest mother fuckers on television.

I mean first of all–a grown ass man wearing jersey overtop of a collared shirt while also putting on eye black to watch the game at home? That look just screams that this dude has some serious skeletons in his closet. Right off the bat I wouldn’t trust this dad as far as I could throw him. Just look at how terrified his own son is of angering him.


Which is a shame because the kid brings up a great point. “It’s the fastest growing sport in America”, he says. Now it’s one thing to just say that lacrosse is the sport of the future. But when you have the scientific evidence and analytical data to support your claim? Well that should be argument over.

Over the last 10 years, boys lacrosse has grown by 28.3% and girls lacrosse has grown by 53.6%. Over that same course of 10 years? High school football participation has dropped damn near 10%. This isn’t opinion. This isn’t lacrosse fans being delusional. These are just some cold hard facts. So if lacrosse continues to grow by nearly 30% every 10 years and football continues to decrease by 10% every 10 years? Well it’s only a matter of time before the gap is nonexistent. And these slap dick parents are going to drop a cake over the fact that their son is preparing for the future? For shame!

It just breaks my heart to see such a bright star burn out before he even has a chance to truly shine, and it’s all because oof his asshole parents. And the sad reality is that this isn’t a story that is just unique to Fansville. This is happening all across America right now. If it weren’t for dads who could never make it themselves but now want to live out their dreams of playing high level football through their children, the number of kids playing lacrosse in high school would already be on their way to surpassing baseball right now. The number of high school lacrosse players in America is being held hostage by adults who wear football jerseys overtop of collared shirts and most likely have some serious anger issues. I just hope that all of the doubters out there realize that you don’t hate lacrosse, you just hate your parents.