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'Soccer Mom' Breaks into Botox Clinic with a Power Saw and I'm in Love

SourceA woman was caught on camera using a power saw to break into a Houston-area Botox clinic and steal anti-aging products, police say.

Police in Sugar Land said the burglary happened at the Botox RN MD Spa on Southwest Freeway on Friday at around 8:25 p.m.

Surveillance video shows the woman driving up in her Mercedes SUV and walking up to the front of the building with a power saw in hand. It appears she tried to break in through different windows until she was able to cut through one area of glass.

The woman then walks in and leaves with the product. The spa’s owner talked to KTRK about the incident and how shocking the video is.

“Looks like the average soccer mom in a Mercedes trying to break into your business,” Alonzo Perez told KTRK.

Here is Jerry’s Exhibit No. 521,482 why I’m not a fan of cosmetic surgery of any kind. I’m about aging gracefully, taking care of yourself and staying in shape. When it comes to Botox and augmentations, I’m with Creed Bratton. I’m all natural, baby. Swing low, sweet chariots.

I mean, just get a good look at this MILF. Security camera footage is hardly the most flattering image you’re ever going to get. And yet she’s a smoke rocket.

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Believe me, sister. There is nothing injecting some viscous chemicals into your skin can do for you that the Claire Dunphy look already isn’t. That top. Those yoga pants. The Mercedes SUV. And the way handle a saw? If you want to improve your looks, operate more dangerous power tools like the empowered,  unstoppable, Warrior Princess bad girl you obviously are. Leave the face face and hot dog lips to those frauds on all the Real Housewives show and just be you. As Creed would say, I find it offensive if you did any other thing.