Barstool Sports x Shady Rays | NEW Polarized SunglassesSHOP NOW


Yu Darvish Gets My Beef

Screen Shot 2019-08-27 at 10.36.50 PMI’m not trying to get too dramatic but Cubs Mets on Tuesday night was about as must win as must win gets for an August baseball game. They shit the bed all weekend against the Nationals (I was busy peeing on my floor) and woke up 3 games back of 1st place.

3 games back?

Yes Carl.

3 games back from the lowly St. Louis Cardinals in late August, making last night’s game all that important.

Interesting enough: The Cubs and Mets both enter this series after both having Swept then Getting Swept in their two-prior 3-game series. So the Cubs swept the the Giants then got their asses kicked in by the Nats. The Mets swept the Indians then got embarrassed by the Braves. Both teams are fighting for their playoff chances. Both teams have completely surprised themselves in the 2nd half. Both teams Want It.

So let’s not waste any more time and start handing out some beefs:



Let’s start there. I haven’t done heroin but people say it feels like watching Yu Darvish throw 8 innings on the road in a must-win game. He pitched in and out of some trouble early but for the most part made his pitches all night. Fastball heavy first time through the order then he went 180 and predominantly offspeed next time through. It was beautiful even if sometimes tragic:

And in the same context:

If you see the kuncklecurve there for the first time, that’s okay. It’s true:

Which speaks volumes and goes back to the fact that Yu Darvish is from a different planet. Picking up plus-breaking balls on the fly is everything you need to know:


And I love that he’s up at 1am EST loving the positivity in his messages.

So again and again and again – Yu Darvish continues to shove and prove himself this year. We love watching him pitch this aggressively and use the entire strike zone as opposed to nibbling on the corners. He’s also healthy and pitching with momentum for the 1st time in his Cubs career and you can visibly tell he’s a different man on the mound. It’s been contagious across the starting pitchers and you have to imagine he’s the #1 of the stuff clear and center here on out.

Wait Carl would you start Yu Darvish game 1 of the NLDS? 

We’re 3 games back guys. At this rate we’re going to DC for the Wild Card so no I don’t think anyone would be starting game 1 of the NLDS. That’s why you need to win again tonight because the playoffs started last weekend.


Real mixed bag of Javy highlights from the game so in the words of Eddie Olczyk Just Go Ahead And Roll It


I got in his shit during my lineup preview about taking 6 walks in 50 games. He made it 7 in 51 last night so that’s probably the biggest middle finger to me out of all of this. His opposite field home run was legitimately laugh out loud funny because no way a year or two ago that thing leaves the yard but that was before most teams kept balls in NASA humidors and now I digress. Point is Javy holds a lot of the power between which way this season goes and for the life of me and you, we need him to use Tuesday as a spring board to a monster September.



Guy still fucking moans left and right.

Rizzo & Contreras

Rizzo’s out for at least another couple days. Contreras I think at least another week even though he’s catching bullpens now. So 2 of your 4 best players are on the shelf in arguably the biggest stretch of the year so someone else will need to step up. The fact we got depth with a guy like Ian Happ is great but don’t kid yourself. We need Rizzo and Contreras for pretty much every game down the stretch if this bird is going to fly anywhere and DEAR GOD SOMEONE GIVE THEM STEROIDS but don’t but do.

We Got A Game Tonight

Hendricks vs. deGrom

Carl and Big Cat vs. KFC and Clem

I’m currently en route to Citi Field via Midway airport.

Cubs don’t lose when I fly out of Midway.