TRIBUNE – A former Des Plaines woman was sentenced to 12 years in prison Tuesday after she pleaded guilty to trying to arrange the killing of her former lover’s wife through the dark web.

Tina Jones, 33, pleaded guilty to attempted first-degree murder.

Jones, who worked as a nurse at Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood, paid more than $12,000 in bitcoin to have the woman killed. The intended victim was the wife of a man with whom Jones had had an affair, authorities said.

I’m so out on bitcoin. I thought the whole point was a bridge for regular psychopaths like Tina Jones and the dark web AKA the single most terrifying place on planet earth. Just thinking Dark Web sends a chill down my spine. A place for the underrepresented members of society to ransom internet search histories and social security numbers by the thousands. A lawless place that seems as infinite to me as outer space. The internet no one wants you to know about.

THE DARK WEB

Yeah turns out Tina Jones didn’t have the first fucking clue how to navigate it. Shocking. The mid 30’s presumably divorced Loyola nurse had previous technological accomplishments of setting up the DVD player when she moved into her new apartment but before the cable got set up. She’s also fixed her moms vitamix blender. It took her 3 hours and 5 different YouTube tutorials but success nonetheless.

And it’s that kind of resiliency that brings us back to her doing 12 hard years for trying to kill the wife of some good dick in her life.

Police later determined that the website turned out to be a scam operation that had no ability to carry out a contract murder.

Spending 3 months transferring bitcoin to a sham dark web contract killer is no joke. You don’t just have to be stupid you have to be DEDICATED. Just look at that face

That’s the face of a woman who wants you dead plain and simple. And she’s willing to get leveraged on cryptocurrency to prove a point.

Personally I’m a cold hard cash kind of guy. Just not sure what the going rate for a murder is. The Wire it’s just a few thousand and people say that’s super realistic. Adjust for inflation and you’re in the 7-9k range. But even that seems super low. So does $12k. I feel like $20k for a good contract killer would be bare minimum. But like a really good one $50k. That’s my gut. If you know more details honestly leave me alone, I’m not trying to get murdered here.

As part of the plea, Jones also will pay $7,700 to the intended victim.

In bitcoin.