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The Official LLWS/MLB Round Up Blog

I already went through this in my Monday morning Cubs recap but it most certainly bears repeating because the MLB hit a real home run on the LLWS crossover last night. It’s not often I get to compliment MLB on showcasing the game but last night really was so fucking legit top to bottom. If you played at any level past 10year old shitty house league then you got the feels last night watch the Cubs and Pirates square off.


Stop being such a tough guy for 5 seconds and put yourself in the shoes of one of those kids. You’re playing against kids from all over the world then hanging out with big leaguers at night.

I’m on nostalgic overload right now. If I don’t watch an episode of Legends of the Hidden Temple in the 30 minutes I might die that’s how overwhelming this is right now.

And you better fucking believe we let the girls play around here


God knows if I have a daughter she’ll have a better throwing motion than what Joe Maddon put on display for the broadcast:





Good time to remind everyone I went one take Charlie on the spring training mound earlier this year but can’t find the video so let’s keep moving because it’s not a blog about me or the time I stopped at a pro tryout on my way to a sales meeting in Schaumburg and hit 86

it’s about you – the casual MLB fan that might possibly give a fuck about how things are shaping up as we head into our last week or Pre-Football baseball. For the last 8 weeks or so it’s been basically nothing but MLB and I apologize to whoever I offended there like the Womens World Cup crew or whatever. I’m talking basic, reliable 4-sport television programming and I’m delighted MLB gets to share the load with football soon but I digress.

Point is it was a perfect time and perfectly executed to get the kids involved with the game.

Onward march.

Cup Check Standings Check 

Not a cup check but I wanted to get the kids involved with the LLWS theme without having to alert the feds that I was looking for a gif of a kids nether regions so here we are. Laughing at this humongous soccer ball destroying this helpless toddler. Thank you internet.

AMERICAN LEAGUE STANDINGSScreen Shot 2019-08-19 at 10.42.35 AM

It’s too late in the game to give a fuck about all the bottom feeders so let’s clean it up to get your brain on track for what actually matters around the AL:

Screen Shot 2019-08-19 at 10.44.02 AMAL Observations:

– Don’t need to complicate this but for purposes of MLB as a whole, you can really stop caring about Toronto, Baltimore, the White Sox, Kansas City, Detroit, Texas, Seattle and everything coming out of the Angels except Mike Trout, obviously. He’s a beast. Don’t ever forget it.


– On the subject of Baltimore and even though I said we can stop caring, Jon Heyman is an MLB reporter/mouth piece and he made some dickbag comments this week about the Orioles not being competitive enough for his liking


Screen-Shot-2019-08-14-at-10.17.12-AMand I just want to take a second to say fuck these comments.

– Oakland went 3-4 against the Astros this weekend to go to 7.5 back which would be INSANE if they made that into a race down the stretch. The Athletics do this every year and I’m always here for it.

– Cleveland’s biggest problem as I’ve said every week is starting pitching depth. Tito Francona will continue to manage his bullpen into Lifetime Bests each and every season – take that to the bank. But not having your organization’s #1-3 is their biggest hole and the fact they’re winning at nearly a .600 clip is insane to think about. Tito for MOY and whatever other elected office his heart desires. Love that guy.

– I’m including Boston because of our readership but honestly guys I can’t imagine they can overcome Oakland or Cleveland. Just trying to be polite. You got your work cut out for you.


Screen Shot 2019-08-19 at 11.00.15 AM

NL Observations

– This one’s harder because I had to cross out two teams that are both 7.5 games back in the wild card (Reds, Padres) but the reality is they’ve got 7 teams ahead of them for 2 spots. You’d need several of those 7 teams to have epic collapses and one of the Reds or Padres to go on a ridiculous run to close out the year to make it into the playoffs.

– That said, I’d be delighted to be proven wrong. I love the chaos and even if I end up being the idiot, we’ll witness some amazing baseball in the process. Always a fair trade off for me.

– Just looking at the NL Central standings gives me a panic attack and that does not consider the fact I’m watching most of the games down the stretch on a live stream COME WATCH CARL DIE ON THE MAIN PAGE

– I love showing up each week and saying You’d Hate To Be A Phillies fan and then they swept the Cubs and re-hired Charlie Manuel and now it’s like damn maybe they would be a sweet team to ride into the WC. Maybe I was wrong.

– Generally I’m just a happy guy that the NL is giving us this much action into the last few weeks of the season. The AL couldn’t be any more boring right now. On the opposite side we have a legit 3-team division race, a potential historic run from the Mets, the Nationals clawing at the Braves and 7-9 teams still praying for a wild card game 163. Eat your heart out baseball haters this is why you grind 162.





Round Up:

I talked Indians in the standings review so let’s start there:

Jose Ramirez was TERRIBLE to start the year and needless to say his 2nd half is a huge reason why the Indians have steamrolled the 2nd half.

Another reason worth repeating is the bullpen. Tito has managed it flawlessly where the Nationals are a different story. Just look at how fired up Doolittle is after getting this save:

Is that normal amount of fire for a closer?

Idk does your bullpen suck this much:

What’s that look like in real time you ask?


Bartender I’ll have another


Just AWFUL stuff where as Bill Walton’s broadcasting of the Sox/Angels game would be described as AWESOME stuff

MLB should hire Walton as a roaming color guy to go to lifeless fanbases in miserable situations like the White Sox on a Friday night 9pm West Coast roadie. No fucking thanks but Walton made that A+ television.

Speaking of A+ television, MLB needs a red zone channel but instead of red zone they just interrupt you when Aristides Aquino gets into the batters box MY GOD


Not to freak out but he’s on pace for 108 bombs over his first 162 games.

I’m over here building a statue for Nolan in my living room (I’m a weird guy) and he’s only got 30

But we know the real reason Nolan gets a statue is he does this FREQUENTLY

Jaw dropping yes, but is that more impressive than Zack Greinke throwing a changeup harder than his fastball?


Since joining the Astros, Greinke is 3-0 with a 2.37 ERA in 3 starts and more alarming is that he’s walked 7 guys in 19 innings which means he’ll probably walk 0 over the next 30 just a hunch as is my hunch that Bryce Harper is going to use his Thursday night grand slam spring off against the Cubs to fuel some kind of epic close to the season

And if that’s the case, You’re Welcome to the baseball community from the bottom of my ice cold heart. Shit was about as ice cold as getting thrown out on a clean single to right field

I told you guys it was Little League week here and nothing says LLWS like the right fielder making PLAYS

Middle infield play – also strong


As is Verlanders workout routine HMMMMMM


I’m just kidding. Of course.

It would be more surprising if he came out of no where like Yaz’s grandson

Actually guys it’s just the balls. They’re tighter and smoother and they go farther than the AAA balls. Nowz youz can sleep knowing there won’t be an Asterik next to any of this stuff

Because this time around The League wants everyone to have Massive Numbers not just the guys who do the steroids and shit.


Pete Alonso would mash anything

Btw, REALLLLYYYYY seanky 100RBI’s for those who don’t watch Boston. Just saying that’s a fact guys don’t kill me.

Also impressive?

People forget Kevin Gausman used to pitch for the Orioles. God that would suck but nearly as much as trying to hit whatever this is

Or imagine throwing to Mike Trout and actually trying to get him out lol

41 bombs and counting now imagine him playing in Yankee Stadium against the Orioles

You imagine he’d do some serious damage because he’s the best. In fact he’s so good you have to clearly put someone like KB in a category below him which is insane because KB is a monster

But is Yordan better?

I hope some of you Astros fans find me on twitter to debate. Would sure love to do a couple hours with you psychopaths on my off day.

In the meantime, I’ll be over here cracking stick to the idea of watching a Sox / Yankees game from my lawn chair and crushing Miller Lites in the corn fields: