I'm Dead If Anyone Needs Me

The baseball gods giveth and the baseball gods taketh. I can’t even make a joke about the Chicago Cubs on the road or their bullpen because they both suck that bad. And you can take your advanced statistics and shove them directly up your ass. I know bad when I see bad. It’s called the eyeball test and the 2019 Chicago Cubs bullpen doesn’t fucking pass it. Quite the opposite of passing in fact.

The 2019 bullpen might be the single biggest laugh factory I have ever witnessed in my entire life. That’s why I can’t make a joke about it. They’re doing it for me and Theo Epstein’s making it easy. Can we be results driven one time Theo? Can we throw our remote and spike the water bottle or would I be “overreacting” to just a Small Sample Size?

Idk and honestly I don’t fucking care if I’m right or wrong. I’m devastated right now with how poorly the Cubs are coming together on the road. I was hoping for a 4-2 in the final 6 to close down the 10 day road trip. And here we are 0-4 to start it with the last 2 squarely on the bullpen. The Pirates are literally TRYING to lose 2nd half baseball games and we can’t beat them. Can’t beat the Phillies. Can’t beat the goddamn Reds and now the 7-4 August Cubs drop to 7-8.

Wasted starting pitching. Wasted lead. And a wasted Carl.

Good thing bars stay open til 4am around here.