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This Monkey Has A Serious Set Of Wheels On Him

You go check out any beer league in America tonight and I guarantee you that this monkey can move better than at least 50% of the benders out there. I’m not saying he can turn on the jets like McDavid or anything like that. But buddy over here can move. Going after a loose puck in the corner? There aren’t many players out there who I’d say get there before this monkey does. Just imagine this monkey hopping out of the penalty box and getting sprung for a breakaway? We haven’t seen his hands just yet but I have to imagine with wheels like that, he’s pretty lethal with the mitts.

Which got me to thinking…we’re way past due for another MVP movie. Now I’m not sure how many people remember this or not but there was actually an MVP 2. Most Vertical Primate. In that movie, Jack the chimp turns into one of the nastiest skateboarders the game has ever seen after he got suspended or kicked out or whatever of the hockey league he was playing in. I mean it was a truly horrific movie which made very little to no sense. There was no character development. There wasn’t really much of a plot. I honestly don’t even remember if it was more about hockey or skateboarding, to be perfectly honest. So I think we need to make up for what a catastrophe Most Vertical Primate was and find a way to combine that movie with the original. Which would give us MVP 3 where Jack the monkey gets into the professional outdoor roller hockey scene.

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You bring back Pro Beach Hockey and you put a little monkey out there rollerblading, that is how you create a billion dollar industry. Let’s make it happen, folks.

@BarstoolJordie