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ESPN Ranked All 122 Pro Sports Teams On Their Use Of Analytics...Phillies Chime In At 122

(List is in ESPN the magazine)

Yup. All these teams out there think they’re so damn smart using “technology” and “common sense” to evaluate and reward performance. FUCK that. It’s all about ignoring stats, winning and reality. What have Billy Beane and the A’s done over the past decade while only using 1/10000000th of Ruben Amaro’s allowance? 0 WS wins, that’s what. Who cares if they’re built to make a run every single year. They haven’t gotten it done yet so screw them. The Royals also seem like they’re struggling playing smallball. Maybe if they took less walks and did whatever the shit they want EVERY FREAKING PITCH they might have not been pathetic losers to Madison Bumgardner’s ballsack in game 7. I mean, forget giving your team and city a fighting chance based on this statistical sorcery that’ll surely be dead in a century or 40.

I hate this team.

Also cute:

shootm e