Thoughts And Prayers For This Groom Who Got So Loaded At His Wedding That His Brand New Mother-In-Law Had To Feed Him

Daily Mail- An amusing video shows a groom who got so drunk at his own wedding, he had to be hand fed by his new mother-in-law. In the clip filmed by a wedding guest, an anonymous man, believed to be from Scotland, can be seen with glazed over eyes taking a chomp of ham given to him by the annoyed mum of the bride.

Look, I don’t think anyone should be judged for how drunk they get at their own wedding. The amount of stress, work, and straight cash homie that goes into planning one day of your life is ungodly. From the music to the photographer to the flowers to the little girls holding said flowers. Every single part of that 24 hour period is picked apart by you and/or the person you are devoting the rest of your life to before paying outrageously marked up fees for services that could pretty much be labeled extortion. If you aren’t hitting the open bar harder than a Mike Tyson uppercut for every ounce of booze that blank check bought you after going through a HUMONGOUS life decision, you are an idiot. Wifey and I got so tuned up at our own wedding, we were up drinking with our friends until 5 am before she mistakenly locked me out of our hotel room while I slept outside the door. Until this day, she swears it was a mistake even though she probably didn’t want some overweight, overserved dickhead with night terrors to share her bed or consummate the day’s events on (what was supposed to be) the happiest day of her life.

However, you have to make sure that if you are so drunk at your own wedding that you are sleep eating as your eyes roll to the back of your head like the Undertaker, you can’t have your mother-in-law shoveling cured meats back into your mouth. Your own mom? Sure, she’s done crazier stuff for your dumbass in her life. Your new bride? Yup, she will be doing crazier stuff for your dumbass for the rest of your life. Literally anybody else at the wedding? If they were good enough for an invite, they were good enough for groom mop up duty.

But you cannot, under any circumstances, allow a mother-in-law to get the upperhand on her natural rival in the family while the ink is still drying on the marriage certificate. Whoever the Best Man was at this wedding should have the Hand of the King pin ripped off his chest and thrown in the garbage followed by a naked Shame walk back to the hotel. It doesn’t matter that this wedding happened in Scotland, which means this groom probably wasn’t even close to the drunkest person there. The mother-in-law simply should not be looking like this at the man that just married her little girl.

Because you know what she’s looking like next? Like someone looking for the best divorce lawyer in Scotland so she doesn’t have to deal with a drunk asshole during every holiday (I’m pretty sure this covers both holidays and vacations when you are talking in Olde English).

So a word to the wise. If you are going to drink at your wedding, make sure you have someone to either force you to mix in a water or will run interference so your mother-in-law isn’t giving you the death eyes until at least the next morning breakfast buffer.

Oh yeah and don’t miss Shout. Trust me. Tell the DJ or band their tip relies on it if you have to. But just don’t let it happen because you will never forget it every time you talk about your own wedding, go to someone else’s, or just hear Shout at a party.