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Ariana Grande Almost Burned Chicago To The Ground For The 2nd Time In 148 Years

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Ariana Grande and I go way back. I’ve been following her for years. Nothing beats watching some of your favorite indie stars explode into worldwide commercial acclaim. Ariana Grande is just that, becoming a beacon of light not just for struggling artists everywhere, but for regular Guys just like You and Me.

Then there’s Barb… a generationally transcendent icon who is married to Thanos’s dad, James Brolin.

Of course the stage was fire and the arena was lit. I’m drip drip dripping right now just thinking about it and actually I’m lying to you guys. You know I don’t give one flying fuck about this and honestly any of my Guys – like my actual Guys – if any of them care about this too and guess what you just got voted off the island.

So why are we talking about it?

Because you still have time to text any of the above content that I’ve shared in this blog to your girlfriend. Or your wife. Or that one girl who voluntarily has sex with you but you won’t date her to keep your options open even though you literally have no other options. Or maybe just a girl who likes Ariana Grande and you want to be nice because you’re Such A Nice Guy.

Send her one these tweets or the video and be like Did you see this? 

She’ll be like omg yeah Rachel just texted me that (even though Rachel sent it to a whole group text, not just ur gurl, but that won’t stop her from acting like it was a 1-on-1.)

Then you say So cool and she’ll follow with Seriously Amazing

Now believe it or not at this point your job’s done. She’s going to tell everyone at work that My Boyfriend was texting me about it That’s How Big Of A Deal It Was. Her friends are going to get jealous. Why didn’t Jayson text me?  Does Kyle like Stacie more than Jayson likes me? Your girl is going to feel the jealousy mounting and that’s what happens when you’re plugged into the scene: it creates this social hierarchy that you can control if you’re smart enough.

In this case you’re competing against your girl’s friends’ guys and until you’re married that pretty much goes for everyone. So my advice would be to take 2 fucking seconds out of your remarkably busy schedule to share this story (if applicable) to the closest woman in your life.

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If she hates Ariana Grande (impossible by all acounts) then move on but if I know the opposite side the way I think I do, then I would say you absolutely don’t want to ignore that this duet happened in your backyard last night.

IMG_5327Be a proactive guy one time. Share with someone who cares.

PS – Probably would right

Yeah probably

Probly

Prob

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