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Oh No... They're Remaking Home Alone

This simply does not need to happen. I know Disney+ is a big initiative and putting the Home Alone property on the platform might make money and buzz, but there is a better way to go about this!

I am often called a Disney shill (I fucking wish, man, my pockets would be lined beyond belief) and, the truth is, as a big Marvel and Star Wars guy, I love their properties.

But this? This I can’t get behind. Let me be clear, this is not ruining my childhood. Saying stuff ruins your childhood is insane. Unless someone is time-traveling and altering your history (it doesn’t totally work like that, according to ‘Avengers: Endgame), your childhood won’t be ruined by other versions of your favorite movies.

Anyway…

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No. We don’t need this.

If anything, why don’t we get a proper ‘Home Alone 3’?

And I stress the word “proper,” because this shit does not count…

(Yes, that’s a young Scarlett Johansson)

How did they go from simple robbers to international terrorists seeking a nuclear chip from ‘Home Alone 2′ to ‘Home Alone 3’? What a leap!

Give me Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci (unretired now!) and Daniel Stern.

Wet

Kevin and the Wet Bandits look as good as ever!

Catherine O’Hara, who plays Kate McCallister, is even nominated for a lead EMMY this year.

The Hollywood Reporter's 7th Annual Nominees Night - Arrivals

Unfortunately, we lost John Heard, the actor who played Peter McCallister (the father), last year.

‘Home Alone 3′ can be and should be, in his honor.

Imagine Kevin in a bloody, all-out brawl with the Wet Bandits as they seek revenge from the 1990s.

(Ryan Reynolds is actually sort of doing this already, albeit not an actual sequel)

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I am okay with continuing series years after they leave the big screen. But the reboot trend is usually not great. There are some good examples, but they are far outweighed by the bad.

Bob. Mr. Iger. Please, sir, change course. Don’t reboot the franchise, give us the ‘Home Alone 3′ we deserve!

EXTRA HOME ALONE STUFF: Did you know they made a ‘Home Alone 4′ and ‘Home Alone 5’? They did, and, uh…

Honestly, they did a reboot and reimagining of the original already and it didn’t work. So, again, if you want to go down this path, pick a new car… or pick a new path? I don’t know, just change course.