Do These Look Like The Faces Of People Who Want To Kick Chicago Out Of Illinois
(Source)– The sun is nearly unbearable on the asphalt parking lot of the Fairfield Inn out by the highway as a stream of people makes its way inside the lobby; spry retirees in couples; middle-aged people carefully shepherding white-haired parents in their 80s; a few younger folks.
In Mount Vernon, a town where attorney and nascent statesman Abraham Lincoln once argued before the State Supreme Court in the dignified old courthouse, Ron Carnell, and all the other Illinoisans in the room, have crowded in eagerly to hear about a plan to secede from the Land of Lincoln.
Or, to put it another way, they’d just like to kick Chicago out.
In fact, groups from either downstate or Chicago have tried to secede from Illinois several times since 1840, when a group of northern counties asked to be given to Wisconsin. (The state line was set above the tip of Lake Michigan in 1818.) In the 1970s, a group of western counties dubbed themselves the Republic of Forgottonia. And in 1981, a Chicago legislator pushed a secession bill through the state Senate, as a public poke at downstate counties for complaining about CTA funding. The bill was tabled by then Speaker of the House George Ryan. Most recently, downstate legislators proposed a split in 2011, after election data showed that in 2010 Gov. Pat Quinn won only three counties — and gained the governorship by carrying Cook County.
Do these look like the faces of people who want to kick Chicago out of Illinois? In a word…yes. Yes, they do. They look like the type of people who when planning this meeting about kicking Chicago out of Illinois had an internal debate on facebook between having it in the Church basement, or renting out the banquet room at the Cracker Barrell which is only 30 minutes off of the interstate. They look like the type of people who throw stones at Chicago, but took a vacation here one time in 2013 and posted pictures from the Bean with the caption “City Boi” while wearing Ashton Kutcher’s wardrobe from 2004. They look like people who frequent red box machines for the latest DVDs on Friday nights. They look like….Cardinals fans.
And if you’re wondering where Mt Vernon, Illinois is…
It’s closer to StL, Nashville, and Louisville. It’s a part of the State, that looks like the rest of the State, but it is so far south that nobody has ever even driven through there because the best way to get to Nashville by car is through Indiana.
So long story short…I think we can make a deal here. Illinois needs more money. These people want to be disassociated with Chicago. I say we sell everything south of like south of Springfield to the highest bidder. I am sure we can get like $40k from Iowans if we blindfold them, drop them off in Mount Vernon, and tell them that they’re still in Iowa…because…they are.