Kid's First Dirt Bike Ride Was Going Swimmingly Until He Broke His Face

POW! Right to the kisser! Hey, I’m not going to hate on this squirt too bad. Sure, he squealed like a pig in what I’m sure is his queerest redneck church clothes in the closet (Killer boots, man!). But riding a motorized bike for the first time is beyond tricky. The gas and brake on the handlebars will throw anyone’s inexperienced mind into a pretzel. When you’re mid-spaz trying desperately to stop you’d grab a full fledged dick on the bars if it was there to try and slow down. No thanks. I’ll stick to the shitty Saab until my dreams of the Big Wheel for adults becoming a socially acceptable reality. Until then we have to hold off on going all out Sons Of Anarchy on life.