This Incredible Video of 'The Massacre of Area 51' Alone Will Stop the Plans to Storm the Place

I’m not a frequent consumer of video game sims on YouTube. But I have to say this one impresses me. As much for its vision and technical prowess as much for its timeliness. Because of this little item:


“It doesn’t stop, our phone won’t stop ringing,” Connie West, of the Little A’le’Inn, told the Las Vegas Sun.

The 10-room motel is one of few businesses in Rachel, a town of 54 residents now gaining celebrity status among aviation and UFO enthusiasts attracted by the posting about a Sept. 20 event dubbed “storm Area 51.”

More than 1 million people have responded to the internet post calling for people to “Naruto run” at 3 a.m. into the remote U.S. Air Force test area in the Nevada desert that has long been the focus of UFO conspiracy theories. …

West is apprehensive about what might happen if big crowds arrive.

“It’s a little scary to think that many people could descend on a town of 54,” she said. “How can you prepare?”

Down the state Highway 375, dubbed the Extraterrestrial Highway, Linda Looney, at the Alien Research Center gift shop and campsite, told the Sun she also was concerned about the effect of the Facebook post.

“I don’t think it’s just a passing fancy,” she said.

Which tells me one thing about the nature of this video. I have a theory that the source of this thing is the U.S. government itself.

If we’re more than seven weeks away from this thing and businesses around Area 51 are already getting an indication there’s a giant goatfuck heading their way, what could be better than firing a warning shot across the bow of the Naruto crowd in the language they understand best?

Game quality video.

I’m a big believer that there are downed UFOs in Area 51. I believe that an alien craft crashed in Roswell in 1947. I believe that the Department of Defense took jurisdiction, covered it up, denied its existence and have reverse-engineered the technology to give us things like silicon chips, integrated circuits and night vision, just for starters.

I’m also a huge believer in the power of bullets, mortars and missiles to rip me to shreds and leave me a reddish-brown stain in the sands of New Mexico. Which is why I’m not going to sign up. One million people don’t share my concern. Which is why you don’t try to reason with them with simple warnings.

The sorts of people who sign up to go to Rachel N.M. to face a heavily armed military installation because of a thing they read on Facebook are not to be reasoned with by conventional methods. So you show them what it’ll be like. We’re 30 years beyond the U.S. Armed Forces wiping out the Iraqi Army – the 4th biggest in the world at the time – in exactly 100 hours. What chance do a bunch of sedentary incels have to dodge expert sniper fire while running across a mile of open ground?

None. But why demonstrate under live conditions when you have the means to show them a sim of the carnage that awaits them the moment they leave their gaming chairs. Whatever this video cost to produce, it saves a thousand times more in ammo. So well played, federal government. Well played indeed.