Zamboni Driver Gets Arrested For A DUI In The Middle Of The Game

Fargo, ND – The zamboni driver of a Fargo high school hockey game was arrested on suspected DUI Friday night. It happened during the Davies High School and Williston High School girls’ game at the Southside Arena in Fargo. The driver, Steven Anderson, was arrested just before the end of the second period around 8:15 p.m. No one was hurt…another Zamboni driver was called in but the coaches decided to play on the rough ice rather than wait for the other driver to arrive.

First and foremost, if you’re stuck as a Zamboni driver for a girl’s high school hockey game on a Friday night, you’d be boozing on the job as well. Can’t blame Steven Anderson one bit here, even though everything about his face says that he deserves a little blame. But here’s the thing. This is neither the first nor the last time that a Zamboni driver gets arrested for a DUI. But anyone who knows dick about anything realizes how idiotic it is to slap this man with a DUI charge. There are rules of the rink and one of the number one rules is that you do NOT, under any circumstances, get on to the ice until the Zamboni is off and the doors are shut. I get that it’s annoying and the driver always feels the need to take at least 45 seconds too long to shut the doors, but that’s just the rules that we, as society, must live by. So no shit nobody was hurt here. Because nobody is allowed on the ice while the Zamboni is out there. So it’s not like Steven Anderson put anyone’s lives at risk here. He didn’t take the Zamboni out on the interstate or anything. He was just by himself on the ice probably doing donuts or some shit. No harm, no foul. He is an innocent man and I just hope the judicial system in North Dakota isn’t as ass backwards as the one down in Florida.

Also, how about the balls on the rink to even consider calling in a back up Zamboni driver just to clear the ice before the 3rd period for a girl’s game. I get this is coming off the back of the #LikeAGirl campaign from last night, but do you really think that a girl’s high school game is really going to be tearing up the ice that much that you need to clear it off after just one period of play? You could probably play 5 full girls games in a row before anyone would even notice it wasn’t a fresh sheet of ice. If I’m Steven Anderson, I’m glad I finally found my ticket out of that shit show.

Sidenote: The greatest Zamboni driver of all time.