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The Birthday Cake J-Lo Gave A-Rod Has Thrown Me Into An Eternal Pit Of Sadness

There have been a lot of viral unattended birthday parties in recent years that always tug at the heart strings of America. Small children, dogs, just pictures of depression in the form of empty seats and uneaten cakes. Well it saddens me to report that the most recent member of this ever-growing list is our coworker Alex Rodriguez, who received what can only be described as the worst cake in the history of eggs and flour. That cake that Wal-Mart made for that little girl that said “Happy Birthday Loser” is a less insulting cake than A-Rod’s.

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At least that one is personalized. Happy BirthdA-Rod was sitting right there but nah. “Happy Birthday” says really all that needs to be said. Hopefully our king went home and had some pie or other dessert of the gods awaiting him after this abomination of a cake tried to rain on his parade.