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Wing Bowl 23: A Huge Clucking Success

Barstool Sports
Barstool Sports1/30/2015 7:30 PM

wing-bowl23

This morning while the majority of you were still waking up, Patrick Bertoletti ate 444 wings in a total of 26 minutes to set a new Wing Bowl all-time record. FOUR-HUNDRED AND FORTY-FOUR chicken wings in less than half an hour. I want to vomit just thinking about it. But once again, the Wing Bowl came through Philadelphia and once again, it did not disappoint. Our own horse in the race, Skin & Bones, made a valiant effort and cruised into the 2nd round but eventually hit the dreaded wall and couldn’t advance from there. I think I got a little too ahead of myself during the pre-game predictions.

There’s gonna be a full video of the event up on the site early next week, but let’s check out a few of the highlights right now. Not sure how they vote for Photo Journalism Pulitzers, but I’d like to throw my name into the mix here.


Everyone was hungry to be the Mayor of Titty City right from the get go, and this dude was no exception. When you’re at least 60 years old, wearing a chicken wing hat and chanting for tits before 6 am, you know you’re doing something right in life.

Eagles long snapper and local folk hero John Dorenbos showed up as the Special Guest Wing Bowl Commissioner. The Eagles may have ripped out the hearts and souls of Philadelphians everywhere this year, but at least Dorenbos knows how to not dress like a dickwad.

Speaking of dickwads, err.. I mean Eagles legends. Vince Papale was in attendance and was making everyone soaking wet thinking about Mark Wahlberg playing his character.

Here’s a couple of assholes rolling in with some Philly 11’s. Time to uptuck that boner you’re sportin’ there.

BUY YOUR “SHOW ME YOUR TITS” SHIRTS HERE. Seriously though, this was an A+ shirt that remained the top shirt of the day since the minute the gates opened.


Molly Schuyler was last year’s champion. The bitch is terrifying, a certified cannibal, and as @bigh0rt so kindly pointed out to me, she looks exactly like Steven Tyler. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Molly Schuyler, she’s this bitch.


She came in 2nd today after eating 440 wings. What an animal.

Bernie Parent showed up and was loving life. But the guest of honor was none other than Mankind himself.

So just to make this clear, in the past 24-hours Philadelphia has hosted both President Obama and Mick Foley. Care to talk any shit, you peasants?

Last but not least, my favorite moment of the night/morning was this.

I couldn’t get any video or photo evidence of it, but for all you Flyers fans out there, I’m sure you’ll appreciate it. Seeing Lou Nolan come one sliver away from tossing salad in person was a dream come true. What a guy. Also, there were plenty of titties being whipped around in the crowd. Some were good, some were bad. None were more supple than Feitelberg’s.

Actually, another last but not least. WIP kept showing this clip up on the jumbotron of Chris Christie falling out of his chair in their studio. File this under Vines to save for 2016.


Barstool Sports
Barstool Sports1/30/2015 7:30 PM