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Golden Tate Has Been Suspended 4 Games For PEDs And I Honestly Have No Idea Who The Giants Are Starting At Receiver Week 1

I didn’t know it was possible, but the Giants have officially reached the Our Pets Heads Are Falling Off stage of the season before the baseball trade deadline even arrived. Dave Gettleman decided to ship out maybe the best wide receiver on the planet and hoped he could backfill his spot with a crafty vet as well as a collection of young, hopefully talented players. And what has followed over the last day or so is nothing short of The Curse of Odell.

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I jokingly said yesterday that the Giants were an injury to Golden Tate and Evan Engram away from teams lining all 11 defenders in the box against Saquon. But now it looks like we are just an Engram injury away, which considering his history may have happened by the time I hit Publish on this blog. If you have Saquon in a PPR league, he may set the all-time scoring record by Week 6 before his body gives out on him despite being made of nothing but pure thoroughbred muscle.

Giants fans shouldn’t worry too much though because Gettleman may be going back to the ex-Panthers Well once again to fix the receiver position!

There are at least 5 positions I would rather watch Kelvin Benjamin play on the Giants before he lines up wide. Tight end, guard, offensive tackle, defensive tackle, and defensive end. But it looks like this could be the person replacing Odell Beckham as WR1 for the Giants Week 1.

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At least the Giants purged that “Me-first” Odell who never had a teammate say a bad thing about him.

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Having a Hog Molly lining up wide may be the least of our problems considering Shep’s finger is fractured, Corey Coleman’s ACL is spaghetti, Darius Slayton’s hammy is already banged up, and I have no clue what Cody Latimer, Russell Shepard, and Alonzo Russell are going to bring to the table. On the bright side, I guess this is yet another year we can blame Eli’s shortcomings on his teammates letting him down (The offensive line the last god knows how many years and now the receiving corps this year) and if the Giants would consider Kelvin Benjamin for a role as wide receiver, I am only a few injuries and suspensions away from getting a call.

Let me say this about Golden Tate though. I have no problem with him allegedly using PEDs. The entire football world has been (rightfully) been clowning the Giants for years and he knew he was filling massive shoes at MetLife Stadium. Pumping a little bit of whatever Smitty took before Rough N Rowdy in order to ball out and take some of the sting of losing Odell away AFTER getting his new contract is pretty much the most heroic thing I have ever heard. That being said, calling out his teammates for getting pinched for PEDs is a toughhhh look.

And now we pray…

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JK, based on everything we know about the way the NFL handles appeals under that clown Goodell, the Giants are almost definitely fucked.

UPDATE:

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Ohhhh shit, we are talking about a positive testing because of fertility drugs?!? Goodell may be a power-drunk asshole. But even he knows not to suspend a man for trying to make a baby with his wife, right?

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Fuck, we are screwed.