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A Petition To Change The Date of Halloween So The Parties Can Be Better (And For The Kids) Now Has Over 70,000 Signatures

https://www.wfla.com/news/viral-news/thousands-sign-petition-to-change-date-of-halloween/

Tens of thousands of people have signed a petition asking that the Halloween holiday be moved from October 31st to the last Saturday of October. The petition was launched on Change.org by the nonprofit Halloween and Costume Association. The group says such a move would make the Halloween celebration safer and less stressful.

You guys know me….I'm a man of tradition. That's why my parents named me after college football's most traditional powerhouse, The Ohio's Tate Buckeyes. And everyone also knows that the tradition of Halloween is to be celebrated on October 31st each year, regardless of what day of the week that is.

Now, pair what I just said with the fact that I think getting signatures on petitions might be the single dumbest thing us Americans do (besides protest in the streets), and you'll probably be able to piece two and two together to figure that I am against changing the date of Halloween. But folks, this is what we call an outlier. I am 100% for this. It makes complete sense.

Halloween falls on a Thursday this year. That means that parents will be rushing home from work early to get their kids costumes ready to head out by about 6, get back by about 8, and then they need to either eat a bunch of candy and stay up all night, or they need to go to bed and get a good night's sleep for school tomorrow. By making Halloween on the last Saturday of October each year, you don't have this problem at all.

Now some of you guys are probably thinking, who cares? I don't have kids. Well okay, sorry you've never had sex before, but there's also benefits for you in this situation, too. Everyone knows that celebrating holidays on the exact date just feels better. Yeah, you can go visit Grandma on December 22nd and sit around the tree opening presents, but it's nothing like Christmas morning. And when St. Patty's Day falls on the weekend, is there a better time to drink? Same thing here. You can always throw your Halloween parties on the weekends, no problem. But having Halloween on the weekend will make things extra spooky. And everyone loves a good Halloween party. Here's a couple little treats from last year's Barstool Halloween if you're still reading this far down..

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So yeah, I'm all for this. Would I sign the petition if someone came to my door? No, I either don't answer the door or say "Thanks, I'm not interested" before they get out what they're trying to pitch. But I do support this movement. It isn't in the top 1,000 things I currently care about, but if they make the switch, I'll understand why.