Menino Will Not Seek Re-Election….Time For The El Pres For El Mayor Campaign To Begin For Real

So the big news in Boston of course is that Mayor Menino is not going to run for re-election. Listen I’ve busted the mayor’s balls for pretty much the entire decade we’ve been in business. I honestly believe he has a touch of down syndrome. I’ve openly wondered how a guy who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time could be the mayor of a major meteropolitan city. But having said that I’d be lying if I said a part of me wasn’t sad to see him go. I mean I am a blogger after all and having a retarded guy as Mayor who constently fell down and couldn’t speak was a godsend for me. Hondo, KJ, Gonk, Wilcock, Varitek splitting the uprights. It was all gold. Long story short I’m gonna miss the big fatzo and wish him nothing but the best in his retirement. Hopefully his health improves and this isn’t a 12 months to live situation. Farewell sweet prince…farewell.

Anyway now onto more pressing issues. I think I got to run for Mayor right? El Pres for El Mayor. It has a certain ring to it right? I’m not even joking. What do I have to do to get on the ballet? Do I need signatures or something? Is it complicated? Because I want in but I don’t want to do too much work either. And anybody who thinks I’m joking hasn’t been reading me closely the last couple years. I’ve already talked about running for mayor many times in the past. Mumbles got 63,000 votes in the last election. According to Google Analytics we had 500,000 unique visitors to boston.barstoolsports.com last month. And that’s pretty consistent. That is the city of Boston only. Not Cambridge or Somerville or Amherst. That’s just Boston proper. Yeah I know young people tend not to vote but what if I was on the ballot? The stoolies may be hard partying, hard living, assholes but they are also loyal. I think I could mobilize them. It would sort of be the silent majority finally tells the lunatic fringe to shut the fuck up. So seriously how do I get on the ballot? Anybody want to be my campaign manager? I suck at paperwork.