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You Can Now Buy Odor Neutralizing Underwear Pads To Stop Your Farts From Smelling


DO you have a partner or friend in your life whose farts are unbearable?

You can now eliminate any unpleasant smells with special charcoal-based pads that claim to neutralize odors. All you need to do is stick the deodorizer pads into your underwear to discreetly mask any pongs. If the wearer does happen to let rip in public, the charcoal layer will filter out the smell and no one will be any the wiser of what has happened. The pads are machine-washable meaning you can reuse them to your heart’s content.

I know my background isn't in social media, but rather in hard hitting journalism. But if I were running the Barstool Instagram account I'd caption this with "Tag a friend that could use these". Boom, mentions out the ass. No pun intended.

Anyways, I get the practicality of this product, but that doesn't mean I would use them. Literally 90% of the fun of farting comes from the smell afterwards. I look at it like eating sunflower seeds. You could just go buy a plastic container of already cracked sunflower seeds and enjoy the taste. It makes sense, but the whole reason people eat sunflower seeds is to throw a big handful in their mouth, crack em, and spit out the shells. It's the same thing with farting. Yeah, you could neutralize the odor and make the process easier, but the whole reason people fart is to create a raunchy smell.

I just don't like how this product completely takes the fun out of the fart game. And yes, it is a game. You have to pick and choose your spots. Is it a good idea to fart on the first date when you're driving in a car with the girl you just met? Nope, you gotta hold it in. But is it funny to fart at a crowded bar and watch the rest of the world squirm? Yup.


Now I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm shitting on this new product, because that's the last thing I want to do. But this is like instant replay in professional sports. Sometimes I don't want everything to be perfect. I don't want to know if the ball that was clearly knocked out by Virginia in the National Championship actually touched the Texas Tech guy's fingertip if you zoom in and make it super slow motion, and I don't want my farts to be odorless. This product stinks!