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James Holzhauer Says the Patriots are the Best Bet to Win the Super Bowl

James Holzhauer

Peter King via PFTThere’s a football element to [James] Holzhauer, which is mostly why he’s in this space. He’s a big football bettor, and he’s so good at it that he’s got limits of how much he can put down on his bets at most Vegas sports books. So we talked “Jeopardy,” but we talked a lot of NFL too.

“If I had to pick a team or two to make it to the Super Bowl, win the Super Bowl, the boring answer is the Patriots and the Rams,” he told me. … “Everyone knows these guys are the best teams out there. But if you’re looking to invest in a futures ticket, I would say that the big thing to avoid is look away from the teams that have all the hype surrounding them. I can’t believe we live in a world where the Cleveland Browns are the most hyped team in the preseason. But I would say they’re probably the single worst bet to win the Super Bowl right now.”

No big deal. Just the biggest brain of modern times saying the Patriots are the smartest bet to win Super Bowl LIV. A megamind who reinvented the greatest test of intellect in existence to the point that the only logical explanation was that he came from another world to impart knowledge on Earth people loves their chances. A life form so full of facts that he seems to be a genetically-engineered cross between Einstein, Turing, Hawking, Data and Belichick, is putting his very, very smart money on the champions to repeat.

And just so we are defining our terms, he goes on to explain – as only a professional gambler could – that he’s not saying the Browns have the worst chance of winning. Just that their odds make them the worst bet. What odds would those be? The site I checked has Cleveland at 20-to-1. The 10th lowest odds in the league. Where are the Patriots? They’re 6-to-1. Tied with Kansas City for the lowest. The aforementioned Rams are right behind at 10-to-1. And even with such a shitty payout, the man who is the world’s greatest storehouse of knowledge – basically a walking, talking Library of Alexandria with a V-neck sweater and an awkward smile – says they are still the best bet on the board.

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So go ahead and dismiss me and any other Patriots fan who’s feeling good about their chances to repeat. Call me a homer. Talk about the things I do that involve their collective man parts. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Take the word of the only “Jeopardy!” contestant to ever win $100,000 in a single night and repeated it five more times. Take the word of the man who averaged $30,800 per episode, the all time record. Take the word of unconventional, unorthodox and unflappable trivia brain the game has ever known.

Take the word of Big Brain James and where his money is. And be afraid. Be very afraid.