The Official "State of the Union" Drinking Game

President Obama will be making his sixth State of the Union address tonight a 9 pm (ET). Now while we all like to have fun around here, it’s also very important to remain politically informed. That way you can serve up some steaming hot takes on the internet and make all of your Facebook friends glad that they haven’t unfriend-ed you yet. But since watching the State of the Union address is extremely boring and everything about politics is pretty depressing, we midas whale drink about it. There are going to be a few key points the President will touch on in his address tonight. They are: relations with Cuba, combating ISIS and other terror organizations, Cybersecurity, and raising taxes for all you rich folk. So here’s how the game will go.

Take a sip if…
– They show Michelle Obama and you think to yourself, “eh, I would”.
– People start clapping and you have no idea what they’re clapping for.
– Obama mentions “The Interview” and how hilarious James Franco and Seth Rogen are.
– You change the channel to check the score of the game.
– Obama mentions taxes and before you even hear what he has to say your reaction is “fuck this guy”.
– Obama refers to everyone in the audience as “12’s”.

Take a big ass gulp if…
– The amount of times Obama mentions ISIS/ISIL is less than the amount of times Daniel Carcillo has been suspended.
– The amount of minutes Obama talks about Sony is more than the amount of picks Russell Wilson threw last week.
– You see Joe Biden and wish he was your crazy uncle.
– You wish the Key & Peele Obama anger translator was a real thing.

Finish your drink if…
– John Boehner shows up and his face is a brighter shade of orange than the Flyers jerseys.
– Obama lights up a fat Cuban cigar right on the stage.
– Obama stretches his eyelids back with his fingers to make fun of the North Koreans.
– You’re just a renegade and want to play by your own rules.

And if you want to send me any of your takes, they can be directed to @BarstoolJordie.