Snoop Dogg And WNBA MVP Breanna Stewart Are Challenging The World To A 2v2 Game So Here's Who I'd Want As My Teammate From Barstool

So this has been floating around. Snoop Dogg and WNBA MVP Breanna Stewart are out here challenging anyone in the world to a 2v2 game. So I started to think about it. I mean I am the resident basketball guy here at Barstool. Who would I take from Barstool to be my 2v2 partner in a game against Snoop and Stewart. Here’s who I ended up putting on my list:

Rone
Pros: Rap battle champion, willing to stand up to Snoop Dogg. Really likes basketball. Athletic.

Cons: Not sure he can travel without Caleb and can’t play 3 on 2. Might get caught up in a rap battle with Snoop Dogg, which I don’t think ends well.

Dave
Pros: Everything he seems to touch turns to gold. Might be the key to a Patriots dynasty. Excuses already built in if we lose. Hands faster than Delino DeShields. Experience winning a 2v2* (2v1) game on camera.

Cons: Inconsistent responder to texts – not sure if he’d get the details for the game to show up. In Nantucket all month. I will be 100% the reason as to why we lost.

Big Cat

Pros: Experience winning a 2v2* (2v1) game on camera. Would be an excellent screen setter. Great at yelling ‘screen’ on defense. Willing to box out.
Cons: I might get left out of the game for PFT. Will get winded easily. Might not be willing to take a shot during the entire game. 

Kmarko
Pros: Has a good looking jumper. Dunked really cool on that short hoop once. Will 100% be focused on the game. Post game celebration of Old Fashioned’s is locked in.

Cons: A bit terrifying, which will result in me just passing him the ball every time I touch it. Couldn’t shoot for shit when the cameras were on.

Greenie

Pros: Boring enough that Snoop and Stewie won’t care. Allegedly tall. 
Cons: Boring enough that I won’t care. Not quite sure if he’s even a real person since no one has ever met him.

Kate
Pros: Former troop. Not scared of anything. Everyone loves Kate so might just befriend Snoop and Stewart to let us win the game.

Cons: Will bust out cigarettes in the middle of the game. May show up drunk. Will show up to the game with her stuff packed in a trash bag.

Kayce
Pros: SEC – it just means more. Doesn’t take shit from anyone. Taller than me. 
Cons: Might have to stop the game multiple times for pictures due to the correct lighting and angles.

Marty
Pros: Surprisingly athletic. Duke fan – had to be able to shoot a little bit at one point. 
Cons: Won’t understand 1 word out of his mouth. Potential he’d bet against us and then throw the game. Rat – still have no idea if I’m using this correct.

Clem
Pros: In ketosis. Have you seen his behind the back layup in Latvia? Probably has a silly jump hook and drop step in the post.

Cons: Might be out of ketosis. Mets fan, simply not a winner. Doesn’t sleep because he has two kids, might just skip the game to stay in a hotel and sleep.

Willie
Pros: Former professional athlete. Super Bowl winner. Massive. Just a smart thing to have him on my side. Finally have an in to Gentleman’s Friday. 
Cons: Terrified he’ll get pissed and stare at me like this for 30 minutes if I mess up. Will drink my water. Will probably call me Large the whole time while I am in fact not large.