So I got tickets to Jay Z and Timberlake tonight at Yankee Stadium. My roommate loves concerts. Loves live music. I was never much of a concert guy but I go to a lot with her now and every single time I have absolutely no idea what the fuck to do. Its gonna be 100 degrees in my least favorite building in America surrounded by about 25,000 black people, but thats besides the point. It doesn’t matter who the act is or where I am, I have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to do at a concert. Do I dance like the asshole that I am:
Do I revert back to my 8th grade self when I thought I was black and start rapping all the lyrics pretending I’m an emcee?
No matter what you do, as an average white guy at a rap concert, you look like a fucking asshole. And its not like I don’t know the songs or don’t like the music. Jay Z and Timberlake are 2 of my favorites. But I still got absolutely nothing to do. I guess I can do what I always do – drink 50 Bud Lights and wait for the night to end. Just stand there and ride it out and make sure the lady has a good time and hope for some Special Sex in return? I’d imagine my go to move will be – beer in one hand, other hand in pocket, nodding head. Thats all a crazy ass cracker can do in the Bronx listening to Hova, right?