Troublesome News For The Rest Of The NBA, But Joel Embiid Is Now Hot As Heck
Do….do you hear that noise?
Pretty certain that sound we all hear is Greenie crying his eyes out because he realizes the Sixers are about to run the NBA for the next 5-10 years now that Joel Embiid basically has a Hollywood superhero body. JoJo is looking absolutely shredded these days.
I know it feels like years ago at this point but it was only just a couple short months ago that people were ripping Embiid for not taking his diet and conditioning seriously. And in less time than it would take to go through a cycle of p90x, Embiid is already out here looking like Aquaman.
And this is precisely why everybody who was getting on Embiid about his diet in the first place is a certified imbecile. Because Joel Embiid isn’t a normal human being. He may not even be a human being at all. But it’s not like he’s some accountaint who was just demolishing some burgers on his lunch break before sitting on his ass at a desk for the rest of the day. He’s a 7′ freak of nature who 1) needs to crush a shit ton of calories to keep that engine running and 2) is a PROFESSIONAL GODDAMN ATHLETE.
These guys don’t gain weight like you and I. You eat 5 cheeseburgers tomorrow and it’ll take you until the next summer Olympics to work all of that off. Joel Embiid can eat 5 cheeseburgers this morning and his body will metabolize that shit before lunch. So now everybody who was clowning Embiid during the playoffs can look like a certified bitch, and the rest of the league can start to prepare themselves now for the Hot As Fuck Joel Embiid Show that is about to take place in 2019-20. Look shredded, feel shredded, play shredded. Cue the goddamn music.