The Key To Becoming A Great Criminal Is Being Able To Hold In Your Farts Whilst Hiding From The Cops
Fox 9 – When tracking down a suspect, law enforcement might use a K-9 to track down a scent. This was not necessary for a recent arrest in Missouri.
According to the Clay County Sheriff’s Office, over the weekend, Liberty police were searching for a person who a felony warrant for arrest. The person was wanted for possession of a controlled substance. The suspect hid to avoid police, but apparently let out a fart so loudly, it gave up their hiding spot.
You see, kids, this is just something that they don’t teach you at criminal school. This is something that you were either born with or you weren’t. Because if you want to make it in this world as an elite level criminal, you need to know how to control your gas.
Everybody grows up talking about wanting to be the world’s next best criminal. But very few people actually want to put in the work that goes into perfecting that craft. If you want to be a great criminal, one of the most important things you need to keep an eye on is your diet. If you’re going to be a criminal and running away from the law, you can’t be going around crushing some Taco Bell or Chipotle right before a big heist. You’re just setting yourself up for failure if you do. But that’s the difference between an America’s Most Wanted caliber criminal, and a criminal who finds himself in jail.
You think that Michael Jordan just woke up one day, hopped on a basketball court and became the GOAT? Hell naw. It takes years and years of practice to become the greatest. And unfortunately for this bozo over here, he just exposed himself as a fraud. He doesn’t have the work ethic it takes to become a great criminal. All this dude has is a loud, wet, stinky ass. Gross.
