So Kirilenko signed with the Nets for the $3 million mini mid level exception. First thing’s first, if you don’t think some shady Russian shit is going down between Prokhorov and Kirilenko, you’re nuts. AK47 turned down a $10 million option to come play for Brooklyn for one third the money. There is no doubt in my mind Proko is just gonna give him like 10 million bucks for a birthday gift or something.
Obviously its another great move for Brooklyn. Kirilenko is the perfect guy to stuff the stat sheet in limited minutes around the all star squad the Nets have assembled. But fuck all that NBA talk. Thats not what we’re here for. Everyone remembers like 7, 8 years ago when Kirilenko’s wife admitted she gives him one hall pass per year to fuck another chick. ” “She said that because women are forever throwing themselves at him and because things that are forbidden only become more desirable, she has told her husband he may have sex outside their marriage one time per year. “If I know about it,” she concluded, “it’s not cheating.” Just an amazing play by her. Not like it would stop an NBA player from fucking dozens of chicks a year but its a power play to make sure you lock up millions of his dollars by being the “cool wife.” So anyway I was discussing this Free Fuck on twitter when a Stoolie posed a great question:
@KFCBarstool what month you think he cashes that in?gotta be at least October right? Live the year in regret if you do it any time before
— James Farris (@JFarris21) July 11, 2013
Phenomenal question. First thing’s first most average Stoolies would probably be too afraid to cash in on this at all. Any time a chick tells you that you can fuck another girl and cheat on her, its a fucking set up. But lets pretend we’re not worried about that for a second. When do you cash in this Hall Pass? James’ thinking is correct here – you don’t wanna do it to early. Fuck a chick on Groundhog Day and you’ve got 11 months of monogamy ahead of you. 11 months of “Man I should have used my cheating allowance on this chick!” every time you meet a smoke. Yet at the same time, if you wait to late in the year, you might end up cashing in on a chick that’s not as hot as others you met earlier in the year. Like when you need to use your vacation days at work so you take random days before January and end up not even doing anything worthwhile. You wanna take enough time to survey the scene but don’t wait too long that you feel like you missed the boat.
At the end of the day I dont think there’s anyway to cash in on this without ending up feeling some sort of regret. Unless you just do it every June 15th right at the half way point and get into a groove. Personally, I don’t think you base it on the calendar. I think you base it on the chick. You and your dick know when you run into a chick thats worth it. You’ll know that feeling of “There’s the chick I wanna fuck under the approval of my wife.” You’ll just know. There will be others, but you’ll be happy with your choice when you pick that woman that jumps out at you.
PS – Other option is to fuck one chick on December 31st and another January 1 and have yourself a hell of a weekend.