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iPhone App Claims It Can Replace Birth Control By Tracking A Chick's Cycle

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Daily MailAn entrepreneur has claimed that her new app could replace the contraceptive pill, and even warn women when to expect premenstrual tension. Company owner Ida Tin, 34, said that she wants to change the family planning industry and that there has been no innovation since the invention of the Pill 60 years ago.  The free iPhone app, called Clue, tracks the user’s menstrual cycle and can predict the times they can have sex without the risk of getting pregnant.  It can also be used for women trying for a baby because the app tells them when they are most fertile and when the chances of getting pregnant are at their highest. ‘I want to change the family planning industry, we haven’t had any innovation in this space since the pill came out 60 years ago,’ said Ida Tin, the company’s 34-year-old co-founder.  ‘Our ultimate aim is to replace the birth control pill, or at least give an alternative.’ The app allows women to enter details about their mood, pain levels and other factors, and over time, the app learns their cycle and can predict their fertility.

Oh yea sure thing, iPhone. I’ll definitely let you tell me when I can and cannot cum inside my girlfriend. Sounds like a brilliant idea. The same iPhone that takes like 5 minutes for my “iChat” message to go through? And then ends up turning green and being “sent as a text message?” The same iPhone that takes about 20 hours to refresh my gmail? The same iPhone that dies after like 20 minutes of use? Yea that sounds like the piece of equipment I want protecting me from unplanned pregnancies. Siri, is it OK if I cream pie my girlfriend? “There are…three…pie shops…within…approximately…1 mile.” Yea no fucking thanks. I’ll stick to good old fashioned poisonous pharmaceutical baby blockers.

Although it would be kind of funny having some alarm go off like all those Flood Watch Warnings iPhones get these days. Some sort of “Safe Pussy” alarm ringing letting you know its time to fuck.